What’s Getting in the Way?
You’re eating the right things.
You’re exercising (when you can).
You’re trying to stay connected with your teen (who used to be so excited to see you… and now just rolls their eyes and retreats to their bedroom).
You’re working hard to keep everyone in the household happy…
…and somehow feeling completely miserable at the same time.
Sound familiar?
These are the kinds of conversations I have with clients every week.
They’re frustrated.
They’re doing all the “right” things.
They have the best intentions.
And yet… things still aren’t working.
Expectation vs Reality
It reminds me of a family holiday we took a few years ago to Uluru.
I’d always wanted to go – such an iconic, beautiful part of Australia. I had this vision in my head of what the trip would be like. Cultural experiences, awe-inspiring landscapes, meaningful family time, long chats on car rides, shared meals, connection.
Reality?
We stayed in Alice Springs first. One teen refused to leave the hotel room to visit a beautiful nearby gorge. He stayed in bed and only emerged for food. Another had stomach cramps for the first few days.
Then there were the long drives: headphones in, eyes on screens, arguments about whose leg was touching whose and whose turn it was to sit in the middle.
When Uluru finally appeared on the horizon – that incredible first glimpse “look kids!!” – they looked up briefly… then went straight back to their phones.
My husband and I sighed.
Expectation versus reality.
It Seemed Like the “Right” Thing
We thought we were doing something amazing for the family.
And it was amazing. Just not quite the way we expected.
Because here’s the thing:
Just because we love nature, hiking and long drives…
doesn’t mean our kids feel the same way.
They’d much rather be at the beach, at a theme park, or hanging out with their friends (fair enough, they’re teens).
And This Is Exactly What I See With Health
Just because we think we’re:
- eating the right foods
- doing the right exercise
- saying the right things
- doing what we “should” be doing
…doesn’t mean we’ll get the results we’re hoping for.
So the real question becomes:
What’s getting in the way?
More often than not, it’s this:
👉 We assume we know what we need (or what our family needs), without taking the time to understand what’s really going on underneath.
Looking Beneath the Surface
Instead of pushing harder, we need to get curious.
- Are the foods you’re eating actually what your body needs right now?
- What’s your metabolism doing at the moment?
- What role are hormones playing (for you and your teen)?
- What is your teen trying to communicate – even if they’re not saying it directly?
- What needs of your own are you pushing aside while trying to keep everyone else happy?
Until we understand what’s going on beneath the surface, we’re often just guessing.
And guessing can feel exhausting.
A Different Approach
This is why, when I work with clients – whether it’s a mum wanting to manage weight or balance hormones, or a teen needing mindset support – we don’t start with a strict plan.
We start with understanding.
We look at what’s actually happening:
- eating patterns
- energy levels
- stress
- routines
- thoughts and behaviours
Then we build a plan that works with them, not against them.
And we check in regularly – because life changes, and so do needs.
Back to Uluru…
There were some incredible moments on that trip.
The bird show at Alice Springs was spectacular.
The Segway tour around the base of Uluru was a highlight.
There were laughs, even amongst the arguments.
And like most family holidays, the tricky moments have faded — replaced by the memories.
(My middle child now loves to remind me what a delight he was on that trip… it’s very hard not to roll my eyes.)
Final Thought
Whether it’s your health, your weight, or your relationship with your teen…
If things aren’t working the way you hoped, it doesn’t mean you’re failing.
It might just mean we need to pause and ask:
👉 What’s really getting in the way?
Then, we can start to move forward, with clarity.
If you’d like help uncovering what might be getting in your way – for you or your teen – this is exactly what I support clients with every day.